The Nine Step Program
by Risknight
Summary: Everyone could see it. Except the two people it concerned the most.


**I don't own The Big Bang Theory. Or the characters. **

**I do, however, own an ever widening area around my person. This 'personal zone of knuckle integrity', as I call it, it to keep people from hugging me today, as it is my birthday (_shameless shout out to me_). Let's just be brutally honest. Most people are covered in germs that are incompatible with my own germs. Mixing the two will only result in pain and the possible shortage of escargot. In other words, don't touch me and I won't punch you in the throat. Or throw snails at you. This means you, Jessie.  
**

* * *

Everyone could see it, except the two people it most concerned. They bickered but never really fought. When one was sick, the other dropped everything to care for them. If one was upset, the other offered comfort and support. They teased each other, defended each other and helped each other.

Leonard and Amy had discussed it several times. At first they had been jealous and upset. Until they realized their significant others were completely unaware of the situation. So, they decided to sit back and watch. They were curious as to how long it would take Penny and Sheldon to notice.

They were nearing 18 months now and Amy and Leonard were tired of waiting. They had developed strong feelings for each other over the year and a half spent meeting in secret and comparing notes. They wanted to be together, yet were reluctant to risk ruining the potential relationship slowly building between their two best friends. So they sought help from the one person capable of manipulating the situation.

They picked her up at the airport and took her to dinner to explain what was going on. Mary couldn't help laughing at the dilemma. Don't get her wrong, she was pleased as punch that Shelly was in love. Finding out who he was in love with complicated matters, though.

Shelly was stubborn, but that pretty little thing across the hall was down right bull-headed. She had heard plenty of times from Shelly and Missy, who spoke with Penny regularly, about the head butting moments those two had. This was going to take some fairly devious actions on her part. Mary sent up two quick prayers. One for forgiveness of the lies she was about to tell, and one for success.

**STEP ONE:**

Not so subtle barbs about Penny's job and wardrobe to rile up Sheldon's protective instincts.

**STEP TWO:**

Refuse Shelly's many requests for special treatment to arouse Penny's sympathy for Sheldon.

**STEP THREE:**

Keep them apart as much as possible so they miss one another.

**STEP FOUR:**

When they are together, keep between them. Don't let them interact with each other.

**STEP FIVE:**

Tell Shelly that Leonard and Penny are perfect for one another. Wonder out loud what their kids will look like.

**STEP SIX:**

Point out to Penny how well Amy and Sheldon get along and how smart any offspring between them are likely to be.

**STEP SEVEN:**

Tell Shelly he's lucky to be with Amy and not someone flighty and contrary like Penny.

**STEP EIGHT:**

Tell Penny she's so lucky to be with someone like Leonard instead of someone with a lot of quirks and phobias like Shelly.

**STEP NINE:**

Sit back and watch them prove her wrong.

Mary was just pulling a pie from the oven when the door opened. Sheldon and Penny walked in cautiously. Leonard and Amy looked up from the couch as Sheldon cleared his throat.

Sheldon looked at Amy with an expression of trepidation. "Amy, I must ask you to release me from our relationship agreement. I am sorry for any pain or discomfort this causes you, but I am unable to continue with our arrangement. I have found myself developing feelings for someone else and I can no longer deny that I love her."

Before Amy could reply Penny turned to Leonard apologetically. "Leonard, sweetie, I think we both know this Beta test isn't working out. It's not your fault. It's mine. Please, don't hate me. I truly like you, and I hope we can someday be friends again. But, you see," Penny looked up at Sheldon and smiled softly, "I love Sheldon. We didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. I love him so much."

Sheldon reached out and caressed Penny's cheek. "And I love Penny." He turned to face the couple on the couch. "We both will understand if your anger prevents you from forgiving us. We truly are sorry."

Leonard turned to Amy and smiled. Amy leaned over and finally shared a kiss with the man she loved.

Mary watched from the kitchen as the surprise on Shelly and Penny's faces turned to joy. Then her shy, awkward son pulled the blonde dynamo into his arms for a deep, heartfelt kiss. By the time the two couple came up for air, Mary was already halfway through planning a double wedding. She also had a vague idea on how to get that little Indian boy and his own shy girl, Lucy, to step it up. And that sweet funny-book shop owner might be just what Missy was looking for. That strange little Jewish one had managed all on his own.


End file.
